Meta What?

I recently read that over the course of a year couples spend about 1,095 hours together (non-sleeping).  If that is true then my husband and I spend approximately 109 hours or 4 ½ days a year searching for one other.  Yep, sounds about right.

I feel the blame lies squarely on his shoulders as he tends to wander.  I’m sure he would say the fault is mine.  We have lost each other in nearly every store we have entered.  We’ve taken different turns in museums, farmers markets, art fairs and sometimes lose each other at parties.  I flat out refuse to step foot into Costco with him unless I have verified that (1) he has his cell and (2) the ringer volume is set to deafening and (3) I am in possession of the car key. 

Recently I lost him at an outpatient surgery center.   He was my designated post-surgery driver and I could not check in without him.  Suffice it to say I had to sit in the exam room for a while until my blood pressure lowered to normal and the anesthesiologist felt comfortable inserting my IV.

I’ve become adept at the Garv search, looking up and down aisles, scanning over the tops of people’s heads (he’s tall which helps in my searches) and on occasion just obnoxiously yelling his name. 

A few nights ago an unexpected wrinkle appeared in the rules of this marital hide and seek.  Just as we started upstairs to bed Garv said, “Guess where I’ve been.”  And step by step, the conversation went like this:

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The Sony Walkman: No Hidden Costs

Garv likes to listen to music while puttering in the garage, weeding the gardens and especially on weekend mornings, sitting on the patio sipping tea and devouring newsprint. So, for his birthday present I wanted to give him one of those wireless speakers that release such sublime acoustics it sounds like you are in front of live musicians.

I began my research. Which brand would be best? Is the speaker completely wireless with a rechargeable battery and optional power cord? Which devices will it pair with: tablet, phone, computer, TV? Will he use his own music library or stream?  I didn’t want to spend the time to weigh the pros and cons of all the variables so I asked my kids if they would figure it all out.

“Will you just pick out the speaker, set it up and figure out the best music option?” I asked in my most pleasant mom voice.  They both looked at me as if I asked them to fold my laundry and put it away for me.

Seriously mom?” asked my son. “You train people how to use computers. You can figure this out. It’s not difficult.”

“Yeah mom,” my daughter added, “you just pair the speaker and stream the music from dad’s phone or tablet.”

Request denied and I realized two things. First, my children will obviously not be coddling me in my old age. And second I knew I would have to choose, buy and setup the speaker on my own. Ok, fine!

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