Guess which month consistently polls as America’s least favorite month.  According to Gallup, February has won the honor since 1965.  In the Midwest February is psychically painful.  It is cold, sunless and constantly mocks you should you attempt to be happy for more than two hours on any given day. 

February of 2022 began per usual.  The groundhog surfaced to cast his little rodent shadow and sentence us to six more weeks of purgatorial winter.  In the past there have been both kinder and more brutal Februarys.   But this February took a bothersome turn when Punxsutawney Phil somehow managed to summon return appearances of a few unsavory characters to cast bigger shadows than his own.

A former US President surfaced from his own eleven month hiatus to work the fundraiser circuits and phone in interviews.  The news media at large also put a spotlight on him as more information comes to light about past plans to seize voting machines used in the Presidential election. He is also under scrutiny for missing call logs from his Presidency, particularly around and on the date of January 6, 2021.  Hmmm.

The ex-Pres made news when he returned official documents he had taken to his Florida home when he lost his lease on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.  He even took the map.  You know the map, the one with the black sharpie?  The one he held up to prove the National Weather Service was certain Hurricane Dorian would slam into Alabama.  I hope that map hangs in the Smithsonian someday.  Perhaps it will hang between the restroom doors, unframed and still clinging to the poster board you know his aides purchased at Walmart an hour before his press conference. 

Not to be outshined, Russian President Putin puffed out his chest and cast the darkest of all shadows.  He placed Russian tanks and soldiers around the Ukrainian border at the beginning of the month, insisting it was a military drill.  But it wasn’t a drill.  Putin claimed to be open to diplomacy, but round table chatty chat never occurred.  By the end of February, tanks rolled and shells exploded and the invasion of Ukraine began.

Another returning historical character to cast a less menacing but still obnoxious shadow was Johnnie Knoxville who has released a new movie.  If you were raising a son in the 90’s you understand how I shudder at this guy’s return to the public eye.  But maybe I have nothing to worry about.  Perhaps these days the over the top antics on TikTok renders Johnnie’s actions lame and old school.

We did have some blue sky moments this month.  The Super Bowl was fun and kept us on edge until the very end.  The winter Olympics brought beauty and thrills.  Unfortunately Shaun White did not qualify to compete for a medal.  Watching him stand at the bottom of the pipe, hugging his board and taking a moment to be grateful for a sport he helped develop brought me to tears.  His sincerity, his respect for fellow boarders and his class reminded me that there are more good people in the world than shadow casters.    

February also brought us the Oscar nominations.  Of the ten movies nominated for Best Picture, I have, for the first time ever, seen exactly none of them.  Conversely, I have seen four out of the five movies nominated for Best Animated Feature Film.  If ever there was a grandparent litmus test, this may be it! 

February, it is the last day of your blessed short month.  Please be kind in your final few hours.  Go away without uttering one last word or taking a backward glance.  And could you please take the ex-Pres and Putin with you?

What’s a boomer to do? Just a friendly heads up…Reese’s peanut butter Easter eggs returned to store shelves, like clockwork, exactly one minute after Valentine’s Day.  Grab them while supplies last and have a mah-velous March!